Turtles Worldwide The Movement

​Qualifying questions



To gain admission, one must answer four from a list of about twenty-five qualifying questions. Each question suggests a vulgar, lewd, or salacious answer, but the actual correct answer is rather innocuous. Once inducted, a member must reply to the question, "Are you a turtle?". Otherwise, the member must buy the questioner a drink.  It is assumed that all prospective turtles own a diabetic donkey, or one of a sweet and kindly disposition, which is the reason for this password. If the member is unable or unwilling (perhaps because of the restriction on vulgarity) to provide the correct answer, he or she owes to each other turtle present a drink of the recipient's choice. A large part of the tradition of the order involves the qualifying questions that prospective members have to answer. These fun questions are actually small riddles: Each of them suggests a vulgar or lewd answer, however the candidate has to provide a completely innocuous answer to the same question.

A popular example would be the question:

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What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?

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The obvious answer to this question would be "pee" or "urinate", but the correct answer to is "shake hands" (as western etiquette demands that a man needs to rise from his seat to shake hands, while a woman needs not).

• What does a cow have four of and woman only two?

• What is a four letter word ending in K that means to have intercourse?

• What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?

A candidate must answer four from a list of twenty-five or more of such questions. While there is a traditional set of questions, some modern clubs also make up new initiation questions along the same lines.